When my daughter, Lindsay, was about 7 years old, (which just happens to be the same age that her oldest daughter Kahlan is right now), she asked, “Dad may I walk down to Lisa’s house alone?” Lisa was her best friend and lived on the opposite side of our neighborhood street several houses down. I did not think it was a good idea for her to walk alone so I said, “No sweetheart, wait a few minutes and I will walk you down to her house and then call me when you are ready to come home and I will come get you.”
Now the moment of truth was at hand. Was Lindsay going to “obey” me or not, but more importantly was she going to follow my words for the right reason.? You see at that moment Lindsay had the following choices – (1) “disobey” me and wait until I went inside and just walk to Lisa’s house alone and defiant, (2) “obey” my words but not believe in me and angrily wait for me to walk her to Lisa’s house, (3) just stomp up to her room and cry, (4) decide that if she waited and allowed me to walk her to Lisa’s house she would get a reward, (5) decide she had no choice but to wait because she would be punished if she “disobeyed, or (6) she could stand there, listen to my words, disagree with my assessment but allow her trust in my unconditional love for her to overcome her desire to do her own thing and allow me to walk her both ways even though she was sure she could do it alone.
I italicized obey and disobey on purpose. In the New Testament, the word most often translated “obey” means to “listen attentively.” We often say to our children, “when are you going to start “listening” to me?” Listening with attention is given to words we value. And words we value come from people whom we trust and love, but more importantly from people who respect us and love us. To disobey doesn’t only mean not doing what the speaker has directed us to do, it also means doing what the speaker has directed us to do for the wrong reason. In the example above each of Lindsay’s first five choices have an element of disobedience and selfishness. Only the sixth option is true obedience based on listening attentively to an object of our faith and love.
Lindsay waited for me to walk her to Lisa’s house. Why she waited only she knows. I wish I could say that I know she chose the sixth option. But if she is anything like me there was a part of self involved in the decision. When I read or hear God’s word I often listen with limited attention and then follow for selfish reasons. One day I pray that I may know God well enough to trust completely in His faithfulness and love and therefore listen with total attention and follow in response to His Love and Mercy.
